The lady will have a white wine spritzer and the nacho cone, followed by a dune buggy ride and a candlelit screening of Romancing the Butt. Sweetie, the boy who got you pregnant and nearly gave you herpes in a three-way oughta gotten his ass beat like a bass drum at half-time. Your tits are fine. So’s your chin. Promise you’ll keep smooching pets of all species even turtles. Promise you’ll keep leaning in for the pink velvet promise of smooch. Let time turn the hairy, sour air right and nice because it really is, you know.