Jen's for the 11th! Hey Mark send me a cd!

Ghazal for Hooper

My mother never told me that I have a cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

His name is Mark, he’s from Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and he’s a great guy but check it out: he’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

He was in town, called and told me his band was playing at the Lakeside Lounge. I figured they’d suck and I had other plans so I told him sorry I can’t make it but what’s the name of your band? He said Hooper and I said cool let’s have dinner tomorrow. Then I went home and looked them up and I was like, holy mother of God—I have a cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

There’s no work to it he says. Well they work hard on the music, but then some dude will come up before the show and say Hey, I love Burt, I’ve got a smoke machine—you guys wanna use it? The universe cradles them adoringly in its hand like…like what? I have a cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

He says the law of the stuntman comes in two-parts: Know when to hold on, and when to let go. I have a cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

There are songs for Burt of course, for Sally, for Dom and for Loni. I ask, are there songs for Jerry? No. That’s more of a side project. I have a cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

I have been listening to the same Nico song (sounds like a cartoon cow on peyote) for three days straight. Well flip that record over and how. I have a cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

It’s not cheesy he assures me. The songs don’t come out and say, “Liftin’ weights and drinkin’ beer is something I like to do.” They talk more about the soul from Burt’s (aka Sonny’s) point of view. Would you risk your life for $50,000? What if your selfless act spared the life of your friend? Is it truly a selfless act if you get paid and don’t die? I have no idea how to answer these questions. I have a cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

Mourning morning and night. I swore no joy would land nor stay. Now I have a cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

This poem should be one thousand pages long, full of pictures I’ve never seen, and ideas so ready for the world they’re born with mustaches. Can’t you feel it? It’s like the sun on tight jeans. I have a cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.

It’s not because it makes everything bearable or funny for a while or forever, it’s because it means a thing can happen and when the world's hell-bent on breaking the land-speed record for undoing itself that’s the best thing about being in Burt Reynolds tribute band says my cousin who’s in a Burt Reynolds tribute band.