Jenniferl L. Knox, Jason Schneiderman, and I, in honor of Nicole Hefner's recent engagement and one Hot Toddy conversation about Wedding Invitations, have decided to write poems that were inspired by wedding invitations. Congratulations Nicole and don't be too scared. Oh, and forgive the line breaks - these were all centered.
In the Kingdom of Perfection, a Wedding - by Ada Limón
Mr. & Mrs. Darkening Kingdom
request the honor of your lower (and poorer)-than-us presence
at the marriage of their much prettier-than-you-daughter
She-Who-Wins-A-Lot Kingdom
to
Constantly-Kissing-A-Blond-Baby Nation
son of Mr. & Mrs. Sweltering Nation
Saturday, the thirteenth of June
Two thousand (sooner-than-you-ever-will) eight
at half past too-late-for-you in the afternoon
See attached card for details
(Attached card)
Please arrive promptly (for you, perhaps you should plan a half an hour in advance).
Please rent a car, do not bring or attempt to park your Toyota near the grounds.
Please dress in pink, think pale sunset.
Although we do not think this color will
go good with your compexion, please realize this is not about you,
but about Our Winner.
Please wear your hair up, we have seen your hair down
and have gleaned that it is inappropriate.
Please spend some time on your make-up. You are too old
to go without, especially in pale pink.
Please wear a bra. Do not make us bring one. Please eat before you come.
Do not take more than one truffle.
Do not speak to the groom’s family.
Do not make a toast. Do not bring a date. Do not come alone.
Wedding Invitation - By Jason Schneiderman
Mr. Bill Richardson and his much younger wife Mrs. Bill Richardson
along with his former wife
Ms. Kendra Carlyle-Richardson and her life partner Sheila Jackson (bipolar)
join with
The Honorable Reverend Curtis Axlerod (hermaphrodite) of beloved memory
and Jim (formerly and legally Anne) Axlerod
with his husband Kevin Gupta (submissive femme slave bottom)
to request the pleasure of your company at the union of their children
Jennifer-Sue Jennifer Richardson (slut)
and
Jebediah “Beddy-Bye” Axlerod (sterile; Chlamydia)
on October Twentieth of
The year 2007
at
The Public Park of Saugherties Towship
at
Three O’Clock in the afternoon.
In the Sight of God - By Jennifer L. Knox
Mr. & Mrs. Larry Flammingham
two painfully awkward people
are delighted to announce
wonder what happened, disconnected to
the marriage of their daughter
she pretends to be someone/from someones else
Miss Francis Flammingham
it tricks herself to feel other people
to Mr. Ricky Pinburn
but what people
son of Mr. & Mrs. Richard Pinburn
speechless hunters, television, kitty litter, ice tea
at noon on the 8th of April
but clams, oysters, etc. let strange grains of sand in
at the Oddfellows Lodge of Muskego
sometimes grows pimples, others—pearls
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